Our Stories

Cheryl

“In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free.” Psalm 118:5

In May 2003, I came to the Village.  I was completely shut down, having run away from God for the previous two years; I was no longer doing anything that I enjoyed, including playing my guitar and writing.  I had stopped taking my Bipolar medication, was smoking 1-2 packs of cigarettes a day, occasionally burning myself, was drinking to excess on the weekends to sleep, was viewing  pornography, and was violently attacking myself almost nightly.  I was living in total darkness.

I came to the Village and was accepted with all of my sin, all of my ugliness.  I had never before in my life experienced true, accepting love or people who cared about me being healthy.  I walked side by side with a handful of Villagers and began to look at the sexual abuse that had dominated my childhood.  We spoke the truth of who God has made me to be and into the lies that I was a disgusting, vile whore.  I gradually moved away from the things that I was doing to shut down and slowly kill myself, as I moved toward things that were good in my life, like playing guitar and writing. 

After a year and a half, the biggest battle was before my new family and me.  With new memories of ritualistic sexual abuse, I began cutting myself again.  I had cut on myself during all of my Christian walk since I was 16; I have over 100 self-inflicted scars on my body, and I could not stop from hurting myself again.  I was constantly battling the noise in my head to die, to leave, to kill myself because I deserved destruction.  The Village came along side of me, sat by my bedside as I battled the noise to try to sleep, bandaged my wounds, and came to fight along side me against the demons and lies that plagued my life.  We walked through the memories of hideous ritualistic abuse; I broke long-time commitments and deals that I had made to make life work for me without God and confessed hidden sin that had dominated my life. 
On November 10, 2004, five of the church leaders and I prayed against and sent to the throne of Jesus five demons that had been connected to me.  I have often doubted the power of  the spiritual world despite its very frequent effect on me, but I cannot doubt the dramatic change that happened after that night.  My head was clear; the noise, the voices that I had heard since I was a child were gone.  I felt God's love and  forgiveness for the first time.  I no longer had the constant compulsion to hurt myself or to die.  I have been able to feel joy, pleasure, and excitement without attacking myself for it. 

I have been able to laugh, cry, mourn, rejoice.  I have gone a little over three years now  without hurting myself at all.  Not only have I not hurt myself, I have experienced life for the first time.  I am playing guitar and singing again.  I play classical music for the meditation at church.  I have taken several art classes and pursued my desire to create.  I have created a series of visions of God bringing me out of darkness into life, and several other paintings.

I have had some struggles here and there through the past three years, but the Village (my new family) has stood by me and cared for me and challenged me along the way.  I am slowly telling my story to more and more people to help them to experience God.  There is no more self-destruction for I have become the bride of Christ, and He has set me free.  I would never have made it here, never have tasted life if it were not for this community.